Alex’s Report Card

What if grown-ups got report cards, too? This is how I imagine mine.

Reading: A 
Alex reads a variety of genres, not at all influenced by what the other students are reading. This year, she enjoyed many, many books including The Book of Unknown Americans by Christina Henriquez, Way Station by Clifford D. Simak, Immortal Clay by Michael W. Lucas, and Keller’s Fedora by Lawrence Block.

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Social Studies: B 
Alex is introverted, so this is her hardest subject, and yet, she succeeded in making new friends at Confusion and Penguicon. She hopes to spend more time with her close friends this summer, because barbecue season is short, and friendship is important.

Science: C 
Alex’s science experiments are all food-related, and while she attempted some new ones, she mostly kept repeating the same old experiments. The spaghetti experiment and the chicken soup experiment always have the same results. There is no need to prove them again.

Math: D 
Alex did not attempt any higher math this year. She did not use anything beyond addition and subtraction to balance her checkbook. And despite her insistence, I cannot give her a geometry credit for loading the dishwasher.

Creative Writing: A 
Alex accomplished all her writing goals for the year. Her blogs are always updated on schedule and she published a new novel in March. Alex is working on two super-secret projects, and we’re all looking forward to seeing what those are.

Coloring: B 
Alex colors beautifully, but she only wants to color ornate swear words.

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Naptime: C 
Alex prefers to read or do errands during naptime, even when she is cranky and snapping at people and walking into walls. Some better self-care routines would benefit her, and they would really benefit those around her.

Paying Attention: A+ 
Alex finds everything fascinating, especially her fellow students. She is curious about history, travel, gender studies, traditions, culture, unusual fashion, and how people express themselves in word and picture and song. She wants to know how people do things, why people do things, and what benefits they get from doing them. Alex watches, she listens, and she takes notes. Her fellow students should take care, because they might end up in her novels.

About the author: Alex Kourvo writes short stories under her own name and near-future thrillers under the pen name M.H. Mead. She loves being a student of life. 

One response

  1. This is my favorite post in the history of ever!

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